Let me start off by apologizing for the lack of audio for this section of our series...we're working on getting everything back up and running as it should be.
"...bearing with one another ad, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:13 ESV)
I am loving this series that we are going through on Sunday morning and loving the feedback that we are receiving from it. Just to back-track a little, we are using clips from the most popular movies of 2009-2010 as a visual aide for biblical truth...much the way Jesus used parables. This past week, we used the movie "Invictus" to talk about the touchiest and most sensitive of subjects...forgiveness.
When I was researching this movie, I discovered something very interesting: the word "invictus" literally means "unbeaten" in Latin. This is important in each of our lives, because the one thing that will stall and "beat" us faster and more thoroughly than anything I can think of is our unforgiveness of others. To be very honest, every single one of us has been wronged, victimized, and/or abused by another person. We did not choose to be victimized, but we do, however, choose which role we will embrace: victim or victor...the distinguishing characteristic being whether or not we forgive that person(s) who wronged us.
Let's agree on one thing: we hate to forgive...it's against our nature, it's against our reflexes, it's against our instincts...we HATE it. We want to be the victor with his foot on the throat of the person who wronged us, not being the one who offers forgiveness...that just sounds weak. But, our perception of spiritual, Godly victory has become skewed by an unspiritual, ungodly world. Sure, we have our excuses (and they sound very convincing) for not forgiving and wanting to hold on to bitterness:
"I didn't do anything wrong."
(Perhaps, but forgiveness is about you letting go not casting blame.)
"He doesn't deserve forgiveness."
(Maybe not, but none of us deserved God's forgiveness, either...but He gave it willingly.)
"I can't act like nothing happened and just forget about what was done."
(Who said anything about forgetting? Forgiveness and forgetting are two completely different things...God takes all the ugliness and shrapnel in our lives and transforms it into something beautiful, outstanding, influential, and powerful...if we forget where He has brought us from, we strip grace of it's transforming power.)
"If I forgive, I look weak and I lose."
(First of all, that's pride...and pride will destroy you. Second, what takes greater strength, holding on to some perceived right or finally letting go? If forgiveness was easy and required little strength, it would not be so hard to come by.)
"If I forgive, then she doesn't have to pay for what she did to me."
(At some point in time, we must trust God and His justice...if God were not just and did not punish wrongdoing, there would have been no reason for Him to send Jesus into the world...all wrongdoing will, in His time, be judged and dealt with. Another freeing thought: whatever punishment I could imagine upon someone who has wronged me is nothing compared to God's vengeance upon that sin.)
In the end, what we lack is a true definition for forgiveness. Here it is:
"Intentionally coming to a specific point in time that I willingly choose and decide to give up my perceived right as judge, jury, and executioner against someone who has wronged me while trusting that God, being just, will, in His time, make all things right."
Spend some time working through this definition, every facet of it is vitally important for us to move forward.
So what's behind forgiveness anyway? Why should I forgive someone who has wronged me, and may not even care about it? Well, first of all, our forgiveness of others is an issue of our obedience to God...if God says in His word to forgive (and He does), then I fight to forgive. Secondly, my forgiveness of others sets me free...the person(s) that I am bitter at and holding animosity toward doesn't care about my bitterness and animosity, so I am choosing to chain myself when I choose unforgiveness. And third, our forgiveness of others is evidence of a changed life...people aren't amazed with my talk of "grace" and "mercy," but they are amazed (and drawn in) by a life that demonstrates grace and mercy.
So how do I go about this fight to forgive?
1. Pray, asking God to help you release true forgiveness.
On my own, I don't have the capacity to forgive someone who has really wronged me, slandered me, and/or abused me...through the power of God who indwells me, I now have a completely different power source to live off of and to operate from.
2. If the other person is aware of the offense, go to that person 1 on 1 in hopes of reconciliation (Matt.5:24; 18:15).
The goal of forgiveness is not to be "holier-than-thou" or even the "bigger man"...the goal is to live the life that God created you to live in freedom. With that said, God brings people into our lives to help us, assist us, and encourage us...these people, are at the end of the day, fallible people who will at some point let you down. There may be a good chance that the person you need to forgive is the very person who can provide Godly assistance in life later down the road...so reconciliation is massively important. Reconciliation doesn't always happen, though...when the other person refuses to change you did not fail indoor mission; they failed. Whether or not the other person accepts and moves forward with you in relationship or not, keep the goal in mind.
3. If the other person is unaware of the offense, make the matter between you and God only.
You make matters worse by going to someone and telling them you forgive them for something they were unaware of...trust me, I know, I've been on both sides of that equation...AWKWARD!
4. Move on in all that God has for you.
God has incredible plans for you...you are so much more than what has happened to you...MOVE ON!
