THE PROVERBIAL PURSUIT: Seduced...Men's Edition

It is no secret that our culture is struggling from a lack of masculinity (see feathers, sequins, and spandex...all unfortunately present in the Winter Olympic Games!)...and the lines of biblical manhood, at best, are quickly eroding. This is not at all a statement advocating the oppression or abuse of women...as a matter of fact, any man who abuses a woman in any way or oppresses a woman in way whatsoever should be (at the minimal) beaten...I'm still looking for a verse to back me up...I just know it's in the Bible somewhere! What I am talking about is how I see men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are lazy instead of being hard-workers...men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are selfish instead of living sacrificially for their wife and children...men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are spiritually neglectful toward their family instead of being the spiritual head of their family...men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are spiritually stagnant instead of spiritually growing.

I believe that many men find themselves where they find themselves in life (or in the lack of truly living) because they have not INTENTIONALLY lived otherwise...all the while, their enemy, Satan, has INTENTIONALLY sought to steal life from them, kill them, and destroy them. Satan has done this, in many cases by using his favorite weapon in his arsenal: LUST. Because of lust, some men have been convinced that they have been disqualified from living the abundant life that Jesus came to offer (past failures)...while others, because of lust, have/are choosing the temporary pleasures of lust over the life that Jesus has prepared for them (present entrapment)...either way, lust has taken them out!

In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon gives great space to the issue of lust and warning against the destruction caused by adultery (chapters 2, 5, 6, and 7). As a matter of fact, their is no other topic addressed in Proverbs as much or as in-depth as the issue of lust. To me, one of the best passages in Proverbs to examine, in regards to this subject and how to overcome this temptation is Proverbs 7:6-27...

"For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, and saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, a young man devoid of understanding, passing along the street near her corner; and he took the path to her house in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night."


"And there was a woman who met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious, her feet would not stay at home. At times she was outside, at times in the open square, lurking around every corner. So she caught him and kissed him; with an impudent face she said to him: 'I have peace offerings with me; today I have paid my vows. So I came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of Egyptian linen. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he has taken a bag of money with him, and will come home on the appointed day.'"


"With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, he did not know it would cost his life."


"Now therefore, listen to me, my children; pay attention to the words of my mouth: do not let your heart be turned aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths; for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death."

We read this passage and say to ourselves, "What an idiot...did you not see that coming...how did you expect things to turn out?" I wonder if this guy, on his way to the woman's house, said something stupid like, "You had me at 'tapestry.'" The fact of the matter is, if you're a guy, then you have the potential to be this idiot every day...the fact may be, that you are currently this idiot right now. Some reading this may be in the middle of an affair...whether that affair has turned physical or not, it is an affair nonetheless. Some reading this may be in the midst of a battle over lust and your thought-life. Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'you shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'" (Matthew 5:27-28). You see, to Jesus the heart and mind really matter...a lot!

So the question is, why would any of us fall for something so devastating to begin with? Well, the enticement and temptation has not changed all that much since Solomon watched this guy from his porch. Look a little closer at the false promises of this woman and you will see the incredible similarities of modern-day excuses for living in lust.

• It will not cost you anything.
• "...I have peace offerings with me..."
• This woman was telling this man that she had her own money, she did not need him to pay her anything...in other words, what she was offering him was free...it would not cost him anything
• In reality, lust will cost you everything!
• It will not affect your relationship with God.
• "...today I have paid my vows..."
• This woman told this man that she had already gone to the Temple and given at the door and was therefore alright with God...and if she was alright with God and he was alright with God, well then, why not be alright with God together?
• In reality, lust will absolutely wreck your walk with God...when Jesus called his disciples, He did not say, "Hey, Peter, believe in Me" or "Yo, Andrew, behave like Me" instead Jesus said, "Follow Me." If we are walking down a path of lust, how in the world do we expect to be following Jesus when we are living on a completely different path?
• It was meant to be.
• "...and I have found you..."
• This guy probably really thought, "Man, she gets me; much more than my wife understands me...how could something that feels so good be wrong...God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." Okay, Proverbs-guy may not have quoted Rascal Flatts, but you get the point.
• If you mean, "it was meant to be" in terms of Satan has intentionally sought to steal the lasting joy and purpose from your life, kill hope in your life, and destroy the plans that God has for your life...then, okay, it was meant to be. However, you mean "it was meant to be" in terms of God bringing you two together outside the boundaries of your marriage vows and wants to bless what He calls sin...then, no, it is not, nor ever was or will be, meant to be. 
• It is sustainable.
• "...let us delight ourselves in love..."
• The promise of this woman to this guy is "this is the real deal...I'll never leave your side...it's you and me forever." Who knows, maybe she even wrote out the Middle School math equation of "2 hearts + 2gether = 4ever!
• The promised pleasure of every temptation is always a mirage...and always comes up empty. 
• It is safe.
• "...for my husband is not home..."
• The false promise was "no one will ever know...this is our secret...this is private."
• For a reality check, ask Tiger Woods how that's worked out for him lately.  

So how do we overcome this temptation?

1. INTENTIONALLY realize that you are are in the midst of war...you have a very real enemy who is very intentionally seeking to wreck your life, so you better intentionally wake up to the war!
2. INTENTIONALLY ask God's protection on you each morning for each new day...pray something like, "God keep me close to You, keep me clean for You, and protect me so that I can live the life You have designed and planned for me."
3. INTENTIONALLY patrol your thoughts...Paul wrote "...bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5)...this means really give time and consideration to what you give time and consideration to...thoughts morph into meditations, meditations morph into actions.
4. INTENTIONALLY avoid "tempting situations"...you don't have to pray about whether or not it's okay to look at pornography, the answer to that is a resounding "no"...what you do need to be aware of are the lack of checks/balances/accountability in your life...do you spend time on the internet with the door closed, do you spend time on-line after everyone else's in bed (because just like Proverbs-guy knew the way to the woman's house, some of you know exactly the way to "that" site), do you take an alternate route to get to the break room at room just to "check up on her (the "her" not being your wife) and see how she (the "she" not being your wife) is doing, etc.?
5. INTENTIONALLY use your passion to know God and make Him known...many of our problems are not caused by having passion, they are brought about by misplaced passion...remember, your passion will either grow you in Godliness or destroy you in sin: your choice!  

I would also throw out a challenge to the wives of men: If your husband's a guy (I hope and pray so...if not, you both have much deeper problems!) then know that he struggles with this temptation...he's a guy. You, as a wife, should become alarmed when your husband no longer struggles, but has given up the struggle and given in to the temptation. So, pray that God will watch over your husband, protect your husband, strengthen your husband...and then enjoy your husband.

THE PROVERBIAL PURSUIT: Temptation On the Terrain

Every one of us struggles with temptation. Let me restate that...every one of us REALLY struggles with temptation. If we have been exposed to any type of Christianity...whether on a Sunday morning at church or by a 2:30am TV evangelist rocking a Heaven-sized combover riding his white stallion asking for your money (Jesus is not a fan of these people...in case you were wondering!)...you have probably heard a lot about sin (the 2:30am TV evangelist pronounces it "si-en-uh"with 3 syllables requiring spit to fly from your mouth for correct pronunciation) and temptation. The truth of the matter is, temptation is nothing more than an opportunity for me to attempt to short-circuit God's incredible plan for my life.

At this point, we probably need to back up a little bit and ask the obvious question, "What incredible plan?" Jesus told His followers, that He "came to give life--life in all its fullness (John 10:10)." Later on, Paul tells the people of Corinth that "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him (I Corinthians 2:9)." I believe that too many people have taken these two promises and have tragically misapplied them...they act and live as if these promises only come into play after we die. I do believe that these promises speak of Heaven, but that's only half the story. I don't believe for an instant, that God looks down on a mopey, dopey, Eeyore of a Christian and beams with pride, "That's my boy...liven' life just like I designed it to be lived...no fun, no passion, no excitement, no joy...just endless pipe organ and church services until I say it's time for a funeral!" Jesus did not come to rob us of life, He came to give us life...after we die, yes; but also while we live here on earth. While we still receive our mail here on earth, know that God has an absolutely incredible plan for you! For those that are single, God has an absolutely incredible spouse in mind for you. For those that are drowning in purposelessness, God has an absolutely incredible way of doing life in mind for you. God wants to use you to do things you never thought were possible for you, take you places you never thought you would ever go, place in the midst of people you never thought you would be around...all for His glory! So, we come back to the nutshell definition of temptations: "Opportunities for me to attempt to short-circuit God's absolutely incredible plan for my life."

I know for me, it would be a whole lot easier if the temptations in my life didn't look, well, so tempting. I really wish that they were unattractive...it would really make following Jesus a lot easier! But I also find some of the most encouraging words in all the Bible to be I Corinthians 10:13...


"The only temptation that has come to you is that which everyone has. But you can trust God, who       will not permit you to be tempted more than you can stand. But when you are tempted, He will also give you a way to escape so that you will be able to stand it."

I find this verse so encouraging for several reasons:

• I'm not sure why, but it's good for me to know that I'm not the only one struggling. Have you ever walked into a church or been around other Christians and feel like the "black sheep" of the group...the only one struggling...the only one that doesn't have a perfect life...singing in your head "Which One of These Is Not Like the Other, Which One of These Does Not Belong" and you think that song is about you? Well, good news (in a strange way)! We all struggle. You are not the only one tempted with what you are tempted with...which also means, like others have (or are in the process of doing), you too can overcome that temptation.  
• I also really like the five words toward the beginning of the verse, "...but you can trust God..." Know that God knows exactly what He's doing. He does not seek to rob us of life, but rather to give us life at its absolute best. And as the author and creator of life, He is more than qualified to define what life at its best really looks like.
• This verse also removes some crutches for me. The crutches I like to lean on are "the-temptation-is-too-great-for-me-to-say-no-to-it" crutch under my right arm and the "I'm-only-human" crutch under my left arm. But Paul writes that God knows exactly what I can bear before I break, and in His mercy, God will not put too much on me...even if I think I'm about to break. In other words, God knows that I am stronger than I think I am, and every time I withstand temptation I start to see in me what God already knows to be true about me.
• But without a doubt, when facing temptation, the part of this verse that is most amazing to me is that part about God always providing an "escape-hatch" for me when I am tempted. This escape-hatch may be the first really "mystical" experience that you have had with God, and its around us every time we are tempted...we just have to look for it. Let me give you an example, have you ever noticed how many times that when you are in the midst of being tempted by something, the phone rings, or there is a knock at the door, etc.? You really think that's coincidence? I, for one, don't have that measure of faith in coincidence to chalk it up to coincidence! God has the very best in mind for you and knows the devastation of attempting to short-circuit His plans for our lives, so as a loving Father, He provides rescue in the middle of potential disaster.

So how do we overcome temptation when (not "if") if comes our way?

1. Begin each day with a prayer asking for God to protect you...this does not eliminate temptation, it simply makes us aware of God's presence and promise in our lives as well as keeps us on the look-out for anything that might attempt to short-circuit God's plan for me that day.
2. Make every effort to avoid "tempting settings"...for example, if you are struggling with materialism, the mall is probably not the best place for you to kill a few hours in the afternoon! If you are struggling with lust, being alone on the internet is not the wisest choice you can make! If you are struggling with gossip, spending hours on the phone is really not the best idea! You get the point.
3. When you are tempted, ask God to show you the escape-hatch...I guarantee you that He will and you will be amazed!
4. Just because you see the escape-hatch, that doesn't mean that you've overcome that temptation...you have to intentionally choose to walk with God (and use the escape-hatch) and intentionally choose to reject the "alternate route"...the temptation.

Overcoming temptation is a life-long endeavor...however, life is a choice-by-choice choice...so, start rejecting any opportunity for you to attempt to short-circuit God's plans for you; and live well as God unfolds His absolutely incredible plans for your life.

THE PROVERBIAL PURSUIT: The Fork In the Path

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
                 -Yogi Berra (former New York Yankee and Hall of Fame catcher)

Every choice, every decision is, in essence, a fork in the path...if we choose one way, our path veers in one direction; if we choose another way, our path veers in that direction. Evidence of God's love for us is given by the fact that He allows us to make choices and decisions knowing that these choices and decisions always lead somewhere. Often times, however, we make a choice that sets the trajectory of a path that ends in a lesser than desirable destination. We make a decision about our marriage, that has damaging consequences...we make a decision regarding our finances, that lead to further stress and anxiety...we make a decision on a situation at our workplace, that instead of making the situation better it actually makes it worse. When we realize that we have made a mistake, the wise will try to do an about-face and ask God for forgiveness.

...But what if there was a way to live life in such a way that instead of having to constantly retrace our steps and having to constantly keep coming back to God and ask for His forgiveness, we live life making headway and, with solid traction, actually blaze new trails realizing that righteousness is a choice-by-choice choice. Too many Christ-followers do not live with this realization and that is way they feel caught in a cycle of repeating the same mistakes over and over again, that is why they feel like spiritual failures, and that is why they always live reactionary instead of the revolutionary lives that Jesus offers (John 10:10).

The key to this realization, the key to this type of living is Proverbs 3:5-6:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." 

Immediately, we can see the choice of every choice:

• I can choose to "trust in the Lord with all [my] heart"...
• I can choose to "lean on [my] own understanding"...  

What makes "leaning on my own understanding" so appealing is that it gives me some feeling of independence and allows me to take credit for the results. For example, if I "lean on my own understanding" to make financial decisions, then when I become filthy rich I can look back over my choices with an "I did it" type of attitude. The problem with my "leaning on my own understanding" is that I have an incredibly finite view and perspective of time...I only know what I know about the past (which in incredibly limited), I only know what I know about about the present (which is incredibly limited), and I only know what I know about the future (which is absolutely zero). God, on the other hand, has an infinite view and perspective of time...He knows everything about the past, He knows everything about the present, and He knows everything about the future. From a financial perspective, God is the ultimate "inside-trader"...He knows everything that happens before it ever becomes our history. On a common-sense level, if "my own understanding" is so great and spectacular, why is it then that I find myself always coming back to God and asking for His forgiveness and guidance in the end anyway? That's a rhetorical question!

The second facet about this key is when Solomon writes, "...in all your ways acknowledge Him..." he is not talking about kneeling down and pointing up when scoring a touchdown, or singing along with the radio "thanking the keeper of the stars," or even thanking God for your Grammy (award, not grandmother)...instead "acknowledge Him" is referring to the choice behind every choice...in others words, there is a motivation behind every decision that we make:

• Understand that my choices matter to God...He has a plan for me and therefore every decision has repercussions on that plan coming to reality in and through my life
• Understand that my God matters in in my choices...at the end of the day, what speaks most loudly and clear about our view of God is what decisions and choices we made, how we went about making those decisions and choices, and why we made those particular decisions and choices (in other words, was there any "acknowledgment" God in our decisions?). 

Solomon ends this life-altering passage with some of the most freeing words ever spoken or written, "...and He shall direct your paths." Did you pick up the freedom of that statement? It is not up to you to determine where you are going...that's God's job! Most of us lose countless hours popping countless Tums worrying about countless scenarios when, in the end, God wants to bring about His plan for your life and He will make sure you will get there. Think about it, do you think for an instant that when Moses is on the backside of the middle of nowhere tending sheep, that he makes his "bucket list" and it reads, "I, Moses, before I die want to return to Egypt where I killed a man and lead over 2,000,000 Israelites out of the world's most powerful empire to the banks of the Red Sea where I will lift up my stick and make the water part and the ground dry so we can go to a place that I will call the 'Promise Land'? Do you think Paul, while on surveillance on a hunting expedition for Christians, really sat down to re-evaluate his life goals and concluded that it was time for a career change...instead of hunting down and killing Christians, he would become the greatest Christ-following missionary this world has ever known? Certainly not...we would say that these were ordinary men that God used in extraordinary ways...and we would be correct! The point is, stop living life as if it were up to you! The question then is, "If it is God's job to get me where I am supposed to be, around the people that I am supposed to be around, doing what I am supposed to be doing, on the scale that I supposed to be doing it; then what is my job?" The answer to that question is one word: "surrender." Going back to the example of Moses, take some time this week to read through the Book of Exodus and note how many times you run across a phrase like this, "...and God said to Moses..." The significance of that phrase cannot be overstated...Moses did not have a clue what he was doing or where he was going...that is why over and over we see phrases like, "...and God said to Moses..." No one studying the Bible would ever say that Moses was a clueless leader, though...just the opposite, we can look at the life of Moses and see a man that was used mightily by God to accomplish massive God-size things...but never think that Moses was great because of Moses, Moses was great because his surrender to his God was great. The same principle applies to us...if our surrender to God is weak, then we will live as if life depends on us and our inadequacies are so great that, at best, we simply exist...exist within a failure-ridden, reactionary cycle. However, if our surrender to God is pervasive in all areas of our lives, then we will live in the freedom of knowing that God is directing our paths by opening and closing doors, the peace of knowing that God is in control where His power is on full display in and through us...we will find that life happens, but the way in which we live is not dictated  by what happens to us, but rather where our God is taking us and what our God is transforming us into...and that is truly revolutionary!

So, turn over the keys, turn over control...intentionally chose to intentionally surrender...God will not let you down, ever!