THE PROVERBIAL PURSUIT: Seduced...Men's Edition

It is no secret that our culture is struggling from a lack of masculinity (see feathers, sequins, and spandex...all unfortunately present in the Winter Olympic Games!)...and the lines of biblical manhood, at best, are quickly eroding. This is not at all a statement advocating the oppression or abuse of women...as a matter of fact, any man who abuses a woman in any way or oppresses a woman in way whatsoever should be (at the minimal) beaten...I'm still looking for a verse to back me up...I just know it's in the Bible somewhere! What I am talking about is how I see men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are lazy instead of being hard-workers...men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are selfish instead of living sacrificially for their wife and children...men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are spiritually neglectful toward their family instead of being the spiritual head of their family...men, who profess to be Christ-followers, that are spiritually stagnant instead of spiritually growing.

I believe that many men find themselves where they find themselves in life (or in the lack of truly living) because they have not INTENTIONALLY lived otherwise...all the while, their enemy, Satan, has INTENTIONALLY sought to steal life from them, kill them, and destroy them. Satan has done this, in many cases by using his favorite weapon in his arsenal: LUST. Because of lust, some men have been convinced that they have been disqualified from living the abundant life that Jesus came to offer (past failures)...while others, because of lust, have/are choosing the temporary pleasures of lust over the life that Jesus has prepared for them (present entrapment)...either way, lust has taken them out!

In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon gives great space to the issue of lust and warning against the destruction caused by adultery (chapters 2, 5, 6, and 7). As a matter of fact, their is no other topic addressed in Proverbs as much or as in-depth as the issue of lust. To me, one of the best passages in Proverbs to examine, in regards to this subject and how to overcome this temptation is Proverbs 7:6-27...

"For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, and saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, a young man devoid of understanding, passing along the street near her corner; and he took the path to her house in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night."


"And there was a woman who met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious, her feet would not stay at home. At times she was outside, at times in the open square, lurking around every corner. So she caught him and kissed him; with an impudent face she said to him: 'I have peace offerings with me; today I have paid my vows. So I came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of Egyptian linen. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he has taken a bag of money with him, and will come home on the appointed day.'"


"With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, he did not know it would cost his life."


"Now therefore, listen to me, my children; pay attention to the words of my mouth: do not let your heart be turned aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths; for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death."

We read this passage and say to ourselves, "What an idiot...did you not see that coming...how did you expect things to turn out?" I wonder if this guy, on his way to the woman's house, said something stupid like, "You had me at 'tapestry.'" The fact of the matter is, if you're a guy, then you have the potential to be this idiot every day...the fact may be, that you are currently this idiot right now. Some reading this may be in the middle of an affair...whether that affair has turned physical or not, it is an affair nonetheless. Some reading this may be in the midst of a battle over lust and your thought-life. Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'you shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'" (Matthew 5:27-28). You see, to Jesus the heart and mind really matter...a lot!

So the question is, why would any of us fall for something so devastating to begin with? Well, the enticement and temptation has not changed all that much since Solomon watched this guy from his porch. Look a little closer at the false promises of this woman and you will see the incredible similarities of modern-day excuses for living in lust.

• It will not cost you anything.
• "...I have peace offerings with me..."
• This woman was telling this man that she had her own money, she did not need him to pay her anything...in other words, what she was offering him was free...it would not cost him anything
• In reality, lust will cost you everything!
• It will not affect your relationship with God.
• "...today I have paid my vows..."
• This woman told this man that she had already gone to the Temple and given at the door and was therefore alright with God...and if she was alright with God and he was alright with God, well then, why not be alright with God together?
• In reality, lust will absolutely wreck your walk with God...when Jesus called his disciples, He did not say, "Hey, Peter, believe in Me" or "Yo, Andrew, behave like Me" instead Jesus said, "Follow Me." If we are walking down a path of lust, how in the world do we expect to be following Jesus when we are living on a completely different path?
• It was meant to be.
• "...and I have found you..."
• This guy probably really thought, "Man, she gets me; much more than my wife understands me...how could something that feels so good be wrong...God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." Okay, Proverbs-guy may not have quoted Rascal Flatts, but you get the point.
• If you mean, "it was meant to be" in terms of Satan has intentionally sought to steal the lasting joy and purpose from your life, kill hope in your life, and destroy the plans that God has for your life...then, okay, it was meant to be. However, you mean "it was meant to be" in terms of God bringing you two together outside the boundaries of your marriage vows and wants to bless what He calls sin...then, no, it is not, nor ever was or will be, meant to be. 
• It is sustainable.
• "...let us delight ourselves in love..."
• The promise of this woman to this guy is "this is the real deal...I'll never leave your side...it's you and me forever." Who knows, maybe she even wrote out the Middle School math equation of "2 hearts + 2gether = 4ever!
• The promised pleasure of every temptation is always a mirage...and always comes up empty. 
• It is safe.
• "...for my husband is not home..."
• The false promise was "no one will ever know...this is our secret...this is private."
• For a reality check, ask Tiger Woods how that's worked out for him lately.  

So how do we overcome this temptation?

1. INTENTIONALLY realize that you are are in the midst of war...you have a very real enemy who is very intentionally seeking to wreck your life, so you better intentionally wake up to the war!
2. INTENTIONALLY ask God's protection on you each morning for each new day...pray something like, "God keep me close to You, keep me clean for You, and protect me so that I can live the life You have designed and planned for me."
3. INTENTIONALLY patrol your thoughts...Paul wrote "...bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5)...this means really give time and consideration to what you give time and consideration to...thoughts morph into meditations, meditations morph into actions.
4. INTENTIONALLY avoid "tempting situations"...you don't have to pray about whether or not it's okay to look at pornography, the answer to that is a resounding "no"...what you do need to be aware of are the lack of checks/balances/accountability in your life...do you spend time on the internet with the door closed, do you spend time on-line after everyone else's in bed (because just like Proverbs-guy knew the way to the woman's house, some of you know exactly the way to "that" site), do you take an alternate route to get to the break room at room just to "check up on her (the "her" not being your wife) and see how she (the "she" not being your wife) is doing, etc.?
5. INTENTIONALLY use your passion to know God and make Him known...many of our problems are not caused by having passion, they are brought about by misplaced passion...remember, your passion will either grow you in Godliness or destroy you in sin: your choice!  

I would also throw out a challenge to the wives of men: If your husband's a guy (I hope and pray so...if not, you both have much deeper problems!) then know that he struggles with this temptation...he's a guy. You, as a wife, should become alarmed when your husband no longer struggles, but has given up the struggle and given in to the temptation. So, pray that God will watch over your husband, protect your husband, strengthen your husband...and then enjoy your husband.