THE PROVERBIAL PURSUIT: Seduced...Women's Edition

Several years ago, it was hilarious watching our boys, Landon (then 5) and Jax (then 4), play soccer for the first time. They honestly had absolutely no clue what they were supposed to be doing...I can't really blame them though, because I honestly had (have) no clue as to what they were supposed to be doing either. The extent of my soccer knowledge is as follows:

• You kick a ball.
• You kick a ball into the goal.
• You cannot use your hands unless someone older than you hands you the ball.
• Soccer is not an American game.
• I know kids growing up that got beat up on the playground for being what we called "Soccer-knockers"...I don't really know why this was an insult, but as a kid if you could make a word rhyme with another word then you really had something special.
• You run around a lot in soccer...this is the reason we signed Landon and Jax up: so they could run and then so they could collapse at home...it was a great plan!

When I was watching them play (the mad-chaos-cat-chase) one day, it hit me: of course they have no idea what they are supposed to be doing...they have three coaches and two sidelines of parents and grandparents yelling out in their general direction what they should be doing. On the surface, more instruction should translate to more understanding...in reality, however, this was just not the case.

Fast forward to last week. Neither of our boys are "playing" soccer anymore (Thank God...now they will be safer on the playground!), but now Landon (7) is playing flag-football. I had to attend a wedding last Saturday, so I could not be at his last game. As soon as I got home, I asked him if they won (which they did) and then I asked him if they ran "the play where the quarterback goes back to pass but the running back comes around behind him and takes the ball from the quarterback while he is in a throwing motion." Landon looked at me and said, "You mean the Statue of Liberty play, yeah, we ran that." I almost teared up...I can now talk X's and O's with my boy!

So what's one of the main differences in Landon between the chaos of soccer and the fluidity of football. Well, there are many differences, but the main difference is the fact that in football, Landon listens to only one voice: Coach Chris. Coach Chris is the coach (just to clarify), Coach Chris is knowledgeable, and Coach Chris is the one who establishes the standard of play for the football players.

God, on an infinitely larger scale, is our Coach Chris. He is the One ultimately in charge of everything, He is all-knowing (past, present, and future), and He is the One who establishes the standard by which we are to live life. Unfortunately, it is so easy to try to listen to a variety of voices (all expressing different standards), and what inevitably ensues is nothing less than chaos in life because you find yourself sincerely trying (and trying hard) to live up all the different standards of all the different voices in your life. It is at exactly this point that Satan launches his favorite weapon in his arsenal toward women: INSECURITY. It is insecurity that steals so many women's joy, it is insecurity that kills so many women's contentment in being who God created them to be, and it is insecurity that destroys so many women's relationships with others around them as well as they way they see themselves.

INSECURITY: "a lack of security within"

We live in a culture that makes so many false promises in regards to what will bring about internal security:

• "If I had $_______ in my checking/saving account, then I would have internal security."...as if the wealthy do not struggle with insecurity.
• "If I had that job/position/title, then I would have internal security."...as if your worth and identity is based on a job performed/position obtained/title given to you.
• "If I could look like _______ on TV, then I would have internal security."...as if there is no insecurity in Hollywood!
• "If my husband/children were more like ________, then I would have internal security."...as if no one else has problems and issues behind closed doors.

Fortunately, God (the One who wants to be the lone, guiding voice in our lives) has laid out His standard  for what a woman should aspire to be, to pursue. It's Proverbs 31:

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; form her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed  with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he parses her: 'Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.' Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."

Now, the obvious question to me is: "How in the world is a woman to be a seamstress, caterer, manager, real-estate agent, operator of a vineyard, body-builder, fashion designer, overseer of a charity, incredible mother, boutique owner, merchant, and a great wife?" The answer is: "YOU DON'T! If you read Proverbs 31 as a checklist to help fight against insecurity, then I guarantee you that you will become even more insecure than when you first started reading! Proverbs 31 is not a checklist (which is really good for many reasons, a couple being 1) I would have no idea what "flax" is much less how to go about seeking it, and 2) I would have no clue how to "reach my hands to the distaff" when "distaff", to me, sounds like some red-neck infection: "Yep, I got distaff infection."), but rather it is a metaphor of a life that understood that God specifically created her with specific talents/gifts/abilities to be used for His specific purposes in her specific surroundings. So where do you come in? Like the woman of Proverbs 31, God specifically created you, with specific talents/gifts/abilities to be used for His specific purposes in your specific surroundings. 

David wrote in Psalm 139:14 "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."

This verse is huge in how you see yourself! You are not random, you are accidental, coincidental, trash, unimportant, or forgotten. When God (the maker of the universe and all that is) created you, He exerted energy, He spent time, He expressed His creativity in you. A lot of insecurity is derived from a "I can't be more like _______" type of mindset...well, you're right, you can't (and shouldn't) be just like that person...but great news: there is no one who could ever be just like you. That's the way God intentionally designed and created you! A lot of insecurity also creeps in when standing in front of a mirror. Again, God created everyone of us unique...all shapes, all sizes. If I stood in front of a Picasso painting, chances are I would wonder what kindergartner got into the paint...some might even talk to me using words like "abstract," "hues," "tones," and other words that I frankly don't care about...but some might talk to me using words like "five-point-two-million-dollars," words that I do care about. Honestly, why is that painting worth so much money? It's because of who the artist was that painted it...somewhere along the way, somebody (are a lot of somebodies) decided that this Pablo Picasso was a really good guy, even if his artwork was really weird. So, what in the world does this have to do with you? Well, you need to understand that your beauty is not based on a reflection, but rather on the Artist that created you: God...which gives you masterpiece status!

Paul wrote in Ephesians 2:10 "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

God has created you for an incredible life of significance...He has created you with unique talents/gifts/abilities to use in a way that no one else can (because no one else is you). God is absolutely for you, not against you! In struggling with insecurity, you will only find lasting, sustained inner peace and security by walking the path (a concept that covers the Book of Proverbs) that He has for you...in other words, there will not be peace and contentment in your life outside of God's will for your life. God has placed in some very important positions...if you are a wife: one of His purposes for you is to be a Godly wife, if you are a mother: one of His purposes for you is to be a Godly mom, if you are a daughter: on of His purposes for you is to be a Godly daughter, if you have friends: one of His purposes for you is to be a Godly friend, if you work outside the home: one of His purposes for you is to be a Godly employee/employer...doing all these things with the talents/gifts/abilities that He has installed within you, while at the same time knowing that you are who you are and are where you are because of Him...that's your lone standard in combatting insecurity.

So what are some practical steps that can be taken to fight well against insecurity:

1. KNOW GOD...all of us need to grow closer and closer to God each and every day. This happens in prayer and in reading the Bible. There are no short-cuts...it takes time and growth!
2. IDENTIFY YOURSELF...you are "fearfully and wonderfully made," "you are His workmanship," you are a daughter of the King and Creator of the Universe...to see yourself as anything less is heretical!
3. LIVE FULLY IN HIS PURPOSES...one of the most important words here is "fully." I say "fully" because some are not living in God's purposes at all, others are dabbling in God's purposes, and others, while they are in God's purposes, are also involved in a lot of other things (even "good" things) as well...this presents problems because 1) each "thing" you are involved in comes with it's own standards of what "success" looks like, which translates to greater potential insecurity, and 2) there is only so much "you" to go around...when you spread yourself thin, the probability of being able to do anything great is about nil. So, for some, you need to pick up God's purposes in your life...for others, you need to dive in and not be satisfied with dabbling...and others, you may need to start saying "no" to "good" things, so that you can say "yes" to "best" things.